14,600 days of life: a 40th birthday reflection

On this day, 14,600 days ago, I was born.

Thinking back to my transition into my thirties, I’m entertained at how much I couldn’t have known was coming.  Ten years ago, my world looked nothing like it does today, yet I had no idea what I was missing.  In hindsight, I definitely recognized that there was a void of happiness in my life, but I was lost and searching for anything to fill it.

Someone very dear to me taught me how to recognize and focus on the good rather than the bad (pro tip:  they are both always there, but you get to choose your perspective).  In my own life, I’ve experienced challenges and trauma that I haven’t shared with most people:  depression, attempted suicide, addiction, sexual assault (not in that order).  While I don’t discuss them often, they are with me, every single day, though some days they are only a quiet whisper.  I choose each day to accept those experiences and welcome them as a part of who I am, as I most certainly wouldn’t be me without what I’ve been through.

In this short life, I’ve done some amazing things, made some incredible decisions, and had the most wonderful experiences…a whole lifetime worth of goodness and joy.

And so, on this my 40th birthday,  I am celebrating myself and recognizing how much I have to be grateful for.

What I’m most proud of (why I am awesome):

• my children and our relationship
• my relationships with friends and family
• my health and physical abilities
• my ability to learn from my mistakes without lasting guilt and shame
• the change and personal growth I’ve experienced in the last 5-6 years
• my career, the people I’ve grown with and helped to develop
• my unwillingness to settle for the comfort zone
• my love for music and the connections I’ve made because of it
• my ability to find the positive and see the big picture
• my love for myself

I’ve had an amazing 10 years, and I am thrilled for the next 10.  But I’m most excited to think about the “whole 40”, how incredible this ride has been, and how fortunate I am to have the perspective I do at only 40.

It won’t always be easy and wonderful, but armed with the right perspective and with love as my guide, I’m not scared for what’s to come.

Bring it on.

Because in the end, all that matters is love.